NYTimes: A Dark Mood Surrounds Corporate Jet Makers http://nyti.ms/mVCmK2

Top Hats are amazing

So I bought a top hat two days ago. I didn't intend to do it but I had been looking for one for about four years now. A few of my friends and I went to a costume shop on Mass Ave. and I saw it on a shelf it looked so only and invited me to ask one of the clerks to get it and try it on. Once I tried it I had to have it. I payed a little more then I wanted to but it was worth it. I loved this shop it was so nice and all of the staff have a great personality

Can't Sleep

It is too hot here where I live. I'm used to the cool and nice winters of -10ish and the springs and falls with highs of 48 to 56ish. Right now the temp is around 85 and I can't stand it. I love the cold weather. I feel like I'm melting with all of this sweat that is pooring off of me. Slight cleché I know but I am not in the mood to come up with a original metaphore.
In othe news I have met with my Eagle Advisor and I feel a lot better with creating the project workbook which I have procrastinated on for 3 years. So I am meeting with him on thurs day where I should have it all done. I have no idea if I will have it all done by then because I feel like I will be asleep on the ride home and will not get the Signature that I need to proceede with this. From this whole eagle mania that has gripped my house I have been bitched at and nagged for about 3 hours a day. I can't wait till this is over with by completion or by ageing out, I'll take whichever comes up first. I know that this is a horrible thing to say for all of the scouts that arwe reading this but in reality I do not want to receive this award everyone else wants me to get it. That will be a post on it's own so I will get to that later. Hey if I do end up making eagle then I should totally post the work book up for all of you to see what it was that I have been loathing for all of my scouting career. Sometimes I wish that I could have quit scouting.
Since I have said that I will go into why.
Reason #1) as a kid I never really had a social life. Where everyone had parties to go to I was marries to scouting. "Hey Rob I'm having a party this weekend. Can you come?" "No sorry I have to go camping this weekend." I have missed more parties to scouts then family or school commitments.
#2) There seems to be a magical expectation that happens to all scouts where they are held up to being all of the scout law which I do like what it says that everyone should be and I love it to 12 pieces but then when you have friends that don't know how to be polite and responsible they make you look bad out in public.
I can't say that I regret being in scouts because I have made a ton of friends and I have gone to some places that without this program I would have only gone in my dreams. So I guess you could say that I'm on the fence with this.
I'm going to try too fall asleep again so I will hopefully not put up another post till I am well rested or who knows I might endup doing a Freudian slip and sleep post everything.

People's little peeves

I love the little things that drive others insane that don't seem to phase me. Like having the back of a collard shirt collar popped but from the front it looks normal. Or having the hem of a short sleve turned up on itself. The one button unbottened. A simple spelling error but no one seems to notice it. I find it fun to go and have something out of place just the slightest bit to see who will mention it opr fix it for me. Usually after if the mention that my sleeve hem is turned up I will acknowledge it and keep it as it is. Small and a bit childish game but its the little things that I enjoy.
Is there anything that either bothers you or something th at you do like me?

You know its a good day when.....

Your father tells you that you are a failure at life at 6:20 am

Prom

The last prom that I have been able to attend is gone and it was wonderful. The theme was Mulan Rouge but i think that there was a miss understanding with what that meant to the prom committee vs. the rest of the school. We the student body thought that it would be a circus type theme from the late 1800s or something. I don't know what MR is but thats what I was told and I thought "cool circus and pimps this could be interesting" what it actually was just generally French which was ok but, it was just so French. Talk about miss advertising. It was fun. Some slight things that where a hick-up but when isn't there one. I'll come back to do this later.

What I do when I'm bored.

People that are entertained easily are rarely bored. But if there is a time that one of us does end up being down in the middle of nowhere then there is only one thing to do. Get a new hobby. I have tried many different things to keep me from being out and getting into trouble. Some from the list include Tarot reading, Fortune telling, Juggling, Wood turning. Now I am out and doing Fire spinning. It is a great way to get fit with out having to do a whole lot of crunches push ups or anything of that nature. I have had a great time learning the moves with the staff and hope to soon get into poi. I cant wait for this rain to let up so I can go out and light up.

Meeting I had today

So far I will be able to graduate as planned. I have raised the F to a D and that is good enough to walk across the stage. I feel a whole lot better with all of the work that I have done. I feel like my fingers would go numb after all of the typing that I have done today. Yay me.

Little mind rant on suicide

I know that there is no one that would bother to read this blog I guess that's just how I kinda like it. The whole idea that I can bitch and moan and that verry few people will read this. I will yell to the world what I'm thinking without a filter as to who I am and no one will care. Down to buissiness.
     When I was young I think it was in like second or fourth grade I thought about suicide and it occoured oftern that I would try to do it. I used the classic kitchen knife approach then turned to the suffocation by belt and when I would start writing down that I was going to commit suicide that my parents decided to intervine. I'm sorry there was a little more to that I would threaten it when I got into arguements with my parents and my sister and then it was when I would hold the knife to my heart that they would start to worry and take care of it. I was depressed with life in third grade. Nothing seemed to spark my interest I thought that I had done it all and that there was nothing more that I wanted to do. I had gone to camp and Disney world and was the object of everyones eye. (Slight hyperbolization there) and that was all I needed to be happy so I should end it all while it was still good. I don't know where the idea came from whether it was from movies or the news I'll never know but today I started to think about it in my psychology class and it was bothering me so I decided to put it down. Maybe I will touch base again on this later. I have been having these thoughts on suicide lately though. I am scared of life's next stage. I'm screwed with my grade in english and my dad sounds like he will be kicking me out of the house with all of this talk of me looking at the cost to live and how I better get used to the idea of living on the streets and working a shitty job. I don't know what to do but I know that this is not a option for me.

My lovely English grade

So I am in a Business oriented English class and at the moment I have a F and grades close soon. Yes this means that I could end up as a "Super" Senior and my education plans would be put on hold. Yay me. I don't want to fail and have to take English again. I would like to get my High School diploma and just move on with my life but this seems to be a very bleak possibility. I do my best and I have to go my guidance councilor and meet with my dad and my English teacher. I would rather go at this alone but that is out of the question. I want to just deal with it and try to work something out with him. I know that my dad will make this more difficult and stressful on me. I feel that I already have attended this meeting and I have heard what the result of it was. I WILL NOT WALK ACROSS THE STAGE. I feel like a complete low life. I just want to get out and do my culinary sugar coated dream job.

Rant on my troop

so this today is not a troop meeting night but I need to put it out there for all youth leaders out here that nomatter what you would like to think of your troop, if they are like mine in the fact  that most of your small membership is younger scouts. They will understand little and pay attention to that same degree. I have been the senior patrol leader for a while and nomatter what I do for helping prepare themselves for what is going to happen sooner or later. you know what i dont know what to say or do this blog was just a diary and i dont think that it is my style. i need to find a audience.