Little mind rant on suicide

I know that there is no one that would bother to read this blog I guess that's just how I kinda like it. The whole idea that I can bitch and moan and that verry few people will read this. I will yell to the world what I'm thinking without a filter as to who I am and no one will care. Down to buissiness.
     When I was young I think it was in like second or fourth grade I thought about suicide and it occoured oftern that I would try to do it. I used the classic kitchen knife approach then turned to the suffocation by belt and when I would start writing down that I was going to commit suicide that my parents decided to intervine. I'm sorry there was a little more to that I would threaten it when I got into arguements with my parents and my sister and then it was when I would hold the knife to my heart that they would start to worry and take care of it. I was depressed with life in third grade. Nothing seemed to spark my interest I thought that I had done it all and that there was nothing more that I wanted to do. I had gone to camp and Disney world and was the object of everyones eye. (Slight hyperbolization there) and that was all I needed to be happy so I should end it all while it was still good. I don't know where the idea came from whether it was from movies or the news I'll never know but today I started to think about it in my psychology class and it was bothering me so I decided to put it down. Maybe I will touch base again on this later. I have been having these thoughts on suicide lately though. I am scared of life's next stage. I'm screwed with my grade in english and my dad sounds like he will be kicking me out of the house with all of this talk of me looking at the cost to live and how I better get used to the idea of living on the streets and working a shitty job. I don't know what to do but I know that this is not a option for me.